Eating Well: The Missing Ingredient…Energy
What should I eat?
This question looms large for all people everywhere. The answer can feel out of reach whether you are standing in front of a mostly empty refrigerator, a freezer full of frozen meals from Trader Joe’s, or a pantry bursting ingredients.
Feeding yourself and your family is a daily task that can’t be avoided (for too many meals in a row, anyway).
The kicker is that having a meal plan, a recipe, ingredients, kitchen utensils, and food preparation skills is not always enough. These are not the only factors necessary to getting a snack on the counter or a meal on the table. Oftentimes, the missing (and out-of-reach) components are time and energy. While the physical labor that goes into food preparation is apparent and comes at regular intervals in the day, the mental labor feels invisible and constant.
I don’t know about you, but as soon as the last dish is washed and the leftover food is packed away, someone is already asking about the next meal and snack.
So, the question to answer isn’t just “What should we eat?” Those options can be determined ahead of time.
It might be a good idea to start getting good at pausing and asking, “What do I have the time and energy to prepare?”
Think of yourself as having three energy levels:
Level 1: Survival Mode - very little (if any) energy
This is probably the amount of energy you have after staying up all night with a child that is struggling for a breath during an episode of croup. You are bleary-eyed, your nerves brittle, your patience is like a thin sheet of glass ready to shatter at the smallest problem. You look longingly at your bed throughout the day. If you get a minute, you forgo household chores in favor of staring blankly out the window, scrolling mindlessly through your social media feed, or getting lost in a novel or bingeable television show. Work obligations feel insurmountable. You are driven by getting through the next moment. You aren’t thinking about tomorrow, but not in a “live in the moment!” kind of way, more like “I’m trapped in this moment and couldn’t leave if I wanted to.” type of situation. Putting on a bra feels like an act of violence. You drive the carpool in a robe and pajamas and regret this decision when you have to walk your kids into the office for late sign-in.
Here, you feel the fragility of life.
You are in survival mode.
For me, this was me in most of my 30s. A new baby every 2-3 years, working part time jobs as a dietitian and caterer. I can count on one hand the number of nights I experienced a restorative, uninterrupted period of sleep that decade.
None of us are immune from Level 1. This low to non-existent energy level is part and parcel of raising children, caring for aging parents, enduring an acute sickness, living with the ups and downs of a chronic illness, surviving tragedy and crisis.
Level 2: Keeping Up - adequate energy
You wake up after hitting snooze once or twice. You get yourself out the door without too much hassle. The kids are off to school after a steady and purposeful pace of progressing from warm sleepy bodies to fully-clothed, socks found, shoes tied, and backpacks adorned (and gone through LAST NIGHT). You get the basic tasks of the day completed. You get your work done, but it takes some effort to maintain your concentration. You are keenly aware that you are just keeping your head above water.
Here, you feel driven by a sense of permanence in life.
You are somewhere between surviving and thriving.
For me, this was my adult life from college to age 29. I was working a full time job and also really great at over-scheduling myself. I never gave myself a spare moment to land. What would be the point of that?
“I can count on a full night’s sleep and slow down when I’m older.” was my motto.
This level became more of a baseline for me again once all my kids were in school, everyone potty trained, and successfully eating basic table food. They could play out back without constant supervision. My mind had more time to turn towards the tasks of running the household and working a job. I was hyper aware of the margins of my life at this time and felt called to operate up to and beyond my limitations for sake of productivity and rugged individualism. I was the master of my domain, but a slave to enduring for that sake of being industrious.
Many of us find ourselves in Level 2 by default. “I’m fine! We’re fine!” And you are. You’ve found your stride and have gotten into a rhythm. You have proof that you are a good little worker bee. The morning routine and the nighttime routine have become a well-practiced, choreographed dance. You could get through the day in your sleep and sometimes it feels like that’s exactly what you are doing. Words like efficient and keeping up fit here.
Level 3: Thriving - abundance of energy
You are getting things checked off your manageable to-do list (thank you, boundaries!) AND you have the forethought to schedule downtime so you can manage to get in a walk or meditation practice. You feel creative, curious, and generally calm at home and work. You are in a state of flow. You have a feeling of spaciousness, a wider capacity, and a seemingly endless tolerance for your everyone’s hijinks. You can think about the future and feel a sense of choice. You are driven by your values.
Here you feel the preciousness of life.
You are in flourishing mode.
As I sit and write this post at age 48, I finally have access to this level of energy (level 3) on a more reliable basis. I’ve practiced setting boundaries so that saying “No” makes me more available to myself; saying “not now” is a form of self-love and self-respect.
The word thrive fits here. When I use the word thrive, I mean a sense of well-being that does not measure itself to the metrics of success given to us by the dominant culture. There is no body weight or jean size for this type of thriving. It’s not limited to an ability level, biometric health status, or amount of material possessions. This thriving is the feeling you get when you can see the good and bad in life and are able to act with compassion and with a sense of interconnectedness to others and the natural world. It comes from having a sense of dignity, belonging, and safety with access to options and opportunities.
Before we go further, I want to tell you something.
The goal of life is not to always be at Level 3. You aren’t the energizer bunny! You don’t have control over everything in your life and everyone’s daily energy supply is finite.
The steps below will help you face and accept the limitations of your energy level.
The purpose is to help you use your energy level to your advantage - to get a meal on the table and move on with your day!
Step 1: Level 1 - Quick and Easy
Do yourself a favor. Embrace the fact that you WILL be at Level 1. To do so is one of the biggest acts of self-care when it comes to being able to nourish yourself on a regular basis. Think of meals that require no more than 5 minutes of your time. Opening a container, using the microwave, ready-to-eat without needing to be heated, etc.
Look for: frozen, canned, and dried fruit and vegetables, canned soup, frozen meals, premade refrigerator meals found near the deli counter of most traditional grocery stores, sushi rolls. Use leftovers and takeout.
Step 2: Level 2 - Moderate Prep
Think of the meals that require a little bit of prep work, perhaps 15 minutes of active time and 30-60 minutes of inactive time. These will be your Level 2 meals.
Look for: Fresh fruit and vegetables that only require rinsing (grapes, fresh berries, baby carrots, cherry tomatoes). Turn to recipes such as Sheet Pan meals, Dump-and-Go Soup Recipes, Pantry Salad
Step 3: Level 3 - Epic Foodie Quest
Sift through cookbooks and online recipe blog sites for a meal you have been meaning to try. Think about your favorite food growing up that you saw an adult spend the afternoon preparing. These recipes will be more time-intensive (15+ minutes of prep time), requiring chopping and constant attention (I see you Risotto). This might be a big batch meal (such as soup or casserole) that can be doubled with one batch frozen for later and the other batch eaten over several meals. These will be your Level 3 meals.
Look for: Recipes that have a list of ingredients and require multiple steps and kitchen utensils
By understanding and embracing your energy levels, you can tailor your approach to food preparation accordingly. This guide encourages a balanced and flexible mindset, allowing you to nourish yourself in a way that aligns with your energy at any given moment. Remember, the goal is not perfection but a realistic (moving towards peaceful) relationship with food that brings joy and ease into your daily life.
Does this post resonate with you? If you want more individualized support with getting yourself fed, reach out!
Are you struggling with getting yourself fed and you have a hunch it has to do with your ADHD? We can help! Our associate, Megan Taylor, RD, specializes in helping clients with ADHD optimize the steps it takes to get themselves fed well.
Are you struggling with getting yourself fed and you have a hunch it has to do with your diabetes diagnosis? We can help! Our associate, Allison Cain, RD, specializes in helping clients with diabetes optimize the steps it takes to get themselves fed well and support balanced blood sugar.